I was thinking while in the shower about thoughts. I want to one day write a book. Maybe even a couple. I currently have two in the works but I don't know if I want to continue them. I've hit a rut. And I was thinking I needed something to get me out of my creativeless (that's not a word) hole. And I was pretty much beating myself up about it.
I've been praying for a while for God to humble me. I mean I've been praying this prayer for a couple of months. And I know this was a prayer that the Holy Spirit placed on my heart. Finally, while I was in the shower shampooing my hair I was struck. Not by lightening but by something far more electrifying (Corny pun). I was struck by an idea that humbled me to my core. Now whoever is reading this, Do you believe that every good thought comes from God and every evil thought comes from the devil? If so we are on the same page because that's what I think. The fact that God has given us free will allows us to think for ourselves. But every seed of thought that we allow in our mind is given to us by either God or Satan. That's why we are instructed to take our thoughts captive and surrender them to God. David writes, "The LORD knows the thoughts of man; he knows that they are futile," -Psalm 94: 11 Our hearts are deceitful above all other things and are minds our being bombarded by the evil one. So what have we to rely on? If the two things that sway our decisions the most are things that cannot be trusted how can we ever do the right thing? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" -Psalm 13:2 "They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand," Isaiah 44:18
Solomon writes in Proverbs 14:12, "There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death." So Solomon, wise Solomon, writes that what we may think is right is actually a path that leads to death. So you may ask how did these thoughts humble me? Well, because I realized that there is nothing that I could ever do, think, or say that could lead me to Heaven. I on my own cannot climb the ladder up to the pearly gates. And to take it a step further I could never write a book. Not by myself. Nope. If I want to glorify God through my writings then He has to be the one who places the seeds in my mind and directs my fingers as they type. How incredibly arrogant am I to leave God out the equation as I write. To leave Him out of my thinking process. Every step I take, every word I speak, every thought I think, and every word I write needs to be soaked with Him.
I've always wanted to be original. I always pride myself in thinking things other people haven't thought of. But if you read the quote I have about C.S. Lewis he stumbled on this idea a while ago. We will never be original. There's no way. The thoughts we have are put there by two different beings. We have variations on the thoughts because God has given us free will and we are not robots. But God is the originator of all things good. And the Devil is the originator of all things evil. And we humans dabble with the gray in between. C.S. Lewis says that if we say the truth we will nine times out of ten sound original. Why? Because the truth is given to us from God.
If we ask God to he will expand our minds so that we can ponder on the unfathomable, think on the unattainable, and contemplate the ungraspable (not a word). He gave Solomon wisdom. Solomon didn't attain it on his own. It was a gift. As was the gift God gave me. He lifted a weight off my shoulders when I realized it is His thoughts not mine that are original. Yes, it's really hard to write a book but I don't have to do it alone. He humbled me when I realized that all the ways I think are right will lead me to destruction. So all I have to do is concern myself with the Truth, ask God to widen the perimeters of my mind, and make sure that everything I think is pleasing to Him. The rest will fall into place. And I will, nine times out of ten, end up sounding original.
"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable- if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise- dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and recieved and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you," Philippians 4: 8-9
I wish I was more eloquent so that I could express myself better. I wish I was a genius so I could understand everything that's presented before me. I wish I was beautiful so I could turn heads as I walk. I wish I was the nicest girl that way everyone would feel comfortable around me. I wish I was the most spiritual person ever that way God could shine through me constantly. I wish a lot of things. Or at least I used to. Now, this moment, I am content with who I am. I am content with who God has molded me into. I'm not the smartest, prettiest, or coolest. But I am me. And there is no one in this whole world, in the entire universe that is like me. I am the apple of my Father's eye. And I can't wait until He sends me someone who loves me and appreciates me for who God always knew I was.
Listen to the song Apple of Your eye by Sons of Korah.