Long Post.

Want. It's a four letter word. The world is no longer driven by need but by want. People say that money is what makes the world go round. Yet, I still believe it's the hands of God that hold us steady. Want. When we are born we wail for our needs. Our mother's breast, a dirty diaper, a burp that won't come out, all these are needs that must be addressed. However, we learn at a very young age that wants are more fun than needs. So we wail but not for our needs. What I find interesting is that when Jesus' sandals pounded the ground here on earth He met the immediate needs of the souls He encountered. Ailments, sicknesses, blindness, lameness, demon possession, all these things that the people desperately needed; Jesus met the needs instantly. Where there was faith there were His healing hands. He didn't say come follow me and I'll give you this great ride and a pretty sweet house. He healed man of his ailments and cured them of their diseases. Yet, countless times in the Bible there is the mention of our desires. Desires...isn't that just a fancy word for want. Desires aren't needs. If I have cancer I don't desire to be cured, I NEED to be cured, and I need it immediately.

So let me get this straight, God meets our immediate needs. Right? Yeah.
It says in the Word, "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires." -Psalm 37:4 Delight means: a high degree of gratification : joy; also : extreme satisfaction.
Extreme satisfaction...if you are extremely satisfied with something doesn't that meet all your needs AND all your wants. So what I think God wants us to realize here is that if we realize that our greatest need and our grandest desire can be met within Christ Jesus our Lord, than if we want more (and we will because God Himself designed us to want more) of something He will give it to us. Whatever it is. "If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you." John 15:7 And Jesus goes on to say, "My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be My disciples.": -John 15:8 The red letters are our truth.

For some reason I acquired this mentality ever since I was a little girl that to be a Christian was to never want anything outside of what you have. Be satisfied and content. But that is against what my Saviour says. He says, "Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with BOLDNESS, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us at the proper time." -Hebrews 4:16 My Father is not a pauper He is a King. A King who tells me to boldly go before Him. To boldly ask for more. He is a King who is so loving so giving that He not only meets our deepest needs but yet our most cherished desires. And when we abide in Him, He places desires within us. Don't be ashamed if the yearnings of your heart seem impossible. Christ loves to astonish us. But our Father will not push His inheritance on us. We must, as rightful heirs, ask for the inheritance He has for each of us.

Have you ever been to a stream where the water has become stagnant? It's smells funky and it's dirty and you could never drink from it. If we as followers of Christ, aren't constantly moving our faith becomes stagnant. We become stinky and nobody will want to drink what we have to offer. The reason God says He will give us what we want, when we abide in Him, I think, is because not only does He delight in making His children happy but because others will see and will want what we have. But we can show them that our extreme satisfaction can not be found with the things He chooses to give us. It cannot even be found when our most basic needs our met. Our extreme satisfaction, our joy, and greatest gratification, can only be found in Jesus.



Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
- John Kenneth Galbraith


There's more to spIT.

I was thinking a couple of weeks ago about the ocean. I was thinking about how huge it is and about how salty it is. I was thinking about how people used to go bathe in the ocean because they believed it had healing properties (which it does). Then I started pondering how God molded Adam and Eve with His own hands. He breathed the breath of life into them. How very extremely, beautifully, intimate that is. I imagine Adam taking a deep breath and exhaling and the air that is within him is the air that was within God.

I thought about Mark Ch. 7 Vs. 31-37 and Mark Ch. 8 Vs. 22-26. In Ch. 7 Christ heals a deaf man with a speech difficulty. The first thing He does is spits on His fingers and then puts His fingers in the man's ears and on his tongue. The man is healed.
Then in Ch. 8 Christ spits on a blind man's eyes and laid His hands on his eyes. The man is healed. In these two separate instances Jesus uses His spit to heal these men. Why? He didn't have to do that. Jesus could of just given each man a look and they would have been healed.

Maybe it's the same reason why our Father formed us with His hands. The same reason He knit us within the wombs of our mothers. The same reason He breathed the breath of life within us. The same reason He loves to speak to us from within ourselves. He is an intimate Father. He is a present Father. And His hands are never far from us. They are always present. He is always present.

Back to why I was thinking about the ocean. It's salty. God created all of nature. He spoke and everything that is worth looking at appeared. Brace yourselves this may sound odd, maybe the ocean (at least in the beginning of time) was God's spit. Why not? Jesus used His spit for healing. Maybe this great big body of water which many have gone to for peace, for healing, for pure enjoyment, maybe our very intimate God spit this ocean into existence. In Genesis Ch. 1 it talks about how God was hovering over the surface of the waters in the beginning. It doesn't say how the water came to be. The Bible doesn't say He spoke it into existence but it states it like the water just was.

I don't know. Just thoughts twisting in a mind that is tired of calling its thoughts insignificant. And even if the ocean isn't God's healing spit. These thoughts have caused me to appreciate how very intimate my God is. And that comforts me. As I hope it comforts you.


I wrote this a couple of months ago. I just came across it and I read it to my suitemates and they responded well to it so I'll share it with everyone else.

As I lay there thinking about my mom with my worry a tangible body sitting beside me and gripping my stomach and strangling my throat I lay there and dialed her number. It rang once. She didn't pick up. Twice. No answer. By the third call horrible images had taken an unwelcome stay in my mind. It was two in the morning, she was sleeping. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. I got a call by the fourth 'she's fine'. It's my mother with a sleepy voice. She wasn't annoyed, she was just concerned and sleepy. I heard her voice and I asked her, "Are you okay?" "Yeah mama, I'm fine. You okay?" she responded. A squeaky yes from me and then sobs racked my body. I was literally shaking, I was crying so hard. Then, at two in the morning I thought I was crying because I was relieved. Now I realize I was sobbing because I could never keep her. I could never keep anyone. And that scared me. It still does.