8.19.2008

I wrote this a couple of months ago. I just came across it and I read it to my suitemates and they responded well to it so I'll share it with everyone else.

As I lay there thinking about my mom with my worry a tangible body sitting beside me and gripping my stomach and strangling my throat I lay there and dialed her number. It rang once. She didn't pick up. Twice. No answer. By the third call horrible images had taken an unwelcome stay in my mind. It was two in the morning, she was sleeping. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. I got a call by the fourth 'she's fine'. It's my mother with a sleepy voice. She wasn't annoyed, she was just concerned and sleepy. I heard her voice and I asked her, "Are you okay?" "Yeah mama, I'm fine. You okay?" she responded. A squeaky yes from me and then sobs racked my body. I was literally shaking, I was crying so hard. Then, at two in the morning I thought I was crying because I was relieved. Now I realize I was sobbing because I could never keep her. I could never keep anyone. And that scared me. It still does.

2 comments:

lalalauren said...

I remember you telling me this story! your so funny my lil delyann! we need to stop playing phone tag because I have no way of communicating with you:O(

Anonymous said...

Now you know how a parent feels..........I can't keep you, but my heart will always be with you.

Dad