11.09.2008

exhaustion

scream Pictures, Images and Photos

I thought college was supposed to fill my mind with new and exciting ideas. I thought because of my groundbreaking and world changing thoughts I would be effusive with my speech and various ideologies.

I was not prepared however, for the life sucking, debilitating powers that the collegiate institution holds over me. I am a shell of my former self and my once bouncing and happy brain cells are now lagging across my cerebral base unable to utter a syllable let alone another word.

Words collide and crash against each other. Every sentence jumbled until its ideas are unrecognizable. Electrical circuits in my mind are going haywire and I haphazardly try to repair them.

Deadline, due dates are the death of me and my heart trembles in anticipation of the coming days. The shades from my window are lifted and the bright sun taunts me with its unencumbered rays. My bike sits lonely against a wooden stake and the crisp air calls my name. Yet, my bottom has become one with my desk chair and my fingers are now grafted unto the white keyboard. My eyes are blood shot from looking at the artificial light of my computer screen.

Ideas? What are those? Freedom? What concept is that? I must tailor my thoughts to those of my professors in pursuit of that ever elusive, primitive, and worthy, 'A'. My heartbeats are erratic. My brain fizzles with foreign thoughts. And my body lies awake into the depths of the dark night in search of it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was excellent....incredible writing...apparently all the mind numbing in school is teaching to be a great writer.

Dad.

Debbie said...

You are a great writer. The seed of greatness is within you. Never doubt it. However, cultivate desperate exhaustion. It gives you an edge.