Relax...

The phrase, "How to get a date" met my eyes. No, I wasn't reading the latest Accent article on dating. I was in class and the phrase was referring to radiometric dating not boy/girl dating. I smiled to myself and allowed my thoughts to drift away from rocks and dirt to the far more interesting topic of boy/girl dating.

The articles that have been written for the Accent on dating have ranged from tips for getting a date, what not to do, and articles that satirize the whole concept of dating especially in a Christian setting. Does the guy make the first move or doesn't he? Does the girl act coy or forward? What does a "vesper's date" really mean anyway? All these questions and more seem to plague the minds of the students at SAU.

I think Southern guys and girls need to do one very essential thing: RELAX! That guy that you thought was into you, well turns out he isn't, he took out Susie Q and left you with one less prospective future mate. Your a Senior and times a' wasting but I say throw all concern to the wind. You might say, "But after I graduate I have to enter the real world and their aren't as many Adventists in the work place. And forget about my Church family there's no one there. I'll never find a good Adventist husband if I don't find him now." True. Good point. My what a sad sad story. Let me play the violin for you.

In Song of Solomon it says, "Do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time." -Ch. 8 vs. 4 Maybe all this talk about what you should do to get noticed by the opposite sex is just that, talk. Maybe Southern guys don't need to be more forward. Maybe Southern girls don't need to be so anxious for a husband. I mean I can spout tons of verses that make me trust in God's promises, "Do not be anxious for anything", "It is not good for man to be alone" and so on. So why if we have the evidence of God's promise's do we continue to try to do things that will help us find mate's for ourselves?

I propose it's God's job not mine to find my future husband. I trust in Him to find me a good job when I graduate. I trust in Him to be able to provide for my financial needs here at Southern. Why wouldn't I trust in Him to provide for me one of the most important things in my life?

Going back to the verse in Song of Solomon about not awakening love until it's appropriate time, only God knows when a time is appropriate. I can only see the past and present. But God sees the past, present and future. He knows what I need and when I need it. Throughout Scripture we see lots of evidence that shows us how God's timing is best.

As soon as we begin to do things with our own understanding we begin to fail. I am not saying that girls, we shouldn't give encouragement to a guy who likes us, ask God if this is His will and if it is go for it. Guys, I am not saying that you should just sit back and wait for God to plop a girl down on your lap. All I am saying is to, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." -Proverbs 3:5,6

Be strengthened. God has someone for you. Be patient. Good things are always worth the wait. Be faithful. Lean on God and the rest will fall into place.

Peace.

-------

"Now see the wretched sum of it, this madness,
this monstrous folly of appropriation,
this mortal seizure of immortal power.
Your city and your tower became your tomb
when in your prideful dreaming I am dreamed
out of existence; when you put your trust
your ultimate security, in Man."

-B. Davie Napier in Come, Sweet Death

Just a Phone Call Away

I haven't written in a while. And I suppose it's because I don't have anything to say. Plus I've been really busy. But the other day as I was driving in my car my mind was numb to the music that was playing and I felt it. "It" is a sensation I get when I know I have to write. My heart gets warm and my fingers get tingly and my mind races in different directions. It's weird and I don't expect people to know what I am talking about, but I felt it. And as I got back into my room I forgot I wanted to write something. So days later I sit here and think about what I wanted to say and I don't know what it was. But I will share with you what is on my mind right now.

I've felt distant from God the past week or so. I haven't been seeking Him as much as I should be. My prayers have been meager and afterthoughts. And I know my inability to think of something to write has a direct correlation with my separation from God.

You see, when my thoughts center on God they contemplate things that are beyond me. Things that I haven't figured out so in order to figure it out I ask God for wisdom and I write about it to achieve understanding. But this chasm that I've built screams its silence at me and I've been too preoccupied to jump across and grasp onto God.

But I thank God because although I haven't felt His presence because I've been away I have scripture to reassure me that He's there. The devil will make you think that God isn't there for you because you don't sense Him. That's a blatant lie. God is always there. It's us who take leaves of absence. It's us who don't pick up the phone and call Him. Yes, there are times when we just don't feel Him even when we try. But the Word says, "You will find me when you seek Me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13 Trust in the Word. It's life.

So what this random, blabbering post is saying. God is there. I know He is and I miss Him. So I am going to pick up the phone and give Him a call. Because my heart is tired and my mind is empty. Life is filled with disappointments and when I am apart from the Vine there is no cushion between me and the disappointments.

Without God every problem is more intense. Every lie seems to be a truth. Every person seems cynical. Every word harsher. Every day darker. But with God by my side every sound is sweet and every day brighter. I know it sounds cliche but that's what life is like when you have hope and a sense that life is NOT about you. It is about others.

So I encourage you to call God. Not just when you need Him even though I know He would be there. But call on Him regularly. It's nice to have someone to tell all your problems to and who can actually do something about it.

Peace.

Meaningless stretches of time...

In the midst of writing my paper I veer off into meaningless stretches of time where things remain undone for a bit. But it is the meaningless stretches of time that aid me in completing my paper. Albeit at a much slower pace.
I am currently reading The Shack and I would like to recommend it. I think. I'm not done with it. But so far I am very very interested. So I recommend it right now. Maybe not later.

"I suppose since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside."

–The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

It's a Wonderful Life

I love this movie and especially this scene. Hope everyone's having a good December.

I am...

I am a child of half-measures.
I am a product of lost love.
I am a student of procrastination.
I am a daughter of sin.
I am a lover of words of which I never string together.
I am a seeker of truth who tires easily.
I am a runner whose road always ends.
I am a dark figure who carries a lamp.
I am a winner who never enters a race.
I am a wanderer who never stills.
I am a viewer of injustice, who remains a spectator.
I am apart from the vine.
I am all of nothing.
I am filled with dust.

He is the vine.
He is all of everything.
He is filled with everlasting water.

I stretch out my hand and bring to my chapped lips, His water.
I become. I hope to always become.
I am a snake who has shed its skin.

I am a seeker of His love.

This I Recommend.

"We slept better than kings on soft beds of pine needles, next to a clear-running Appalachian river. My new alarm clock, the sun, woke us the next morning, warming us as it filtered through the giant pine trees."

"On foot, in a van, on a fleet motorcycle or on a bicycle, a person must be very careful not to become overly concerned with arriving."

Good Stuff. I just started reading it so I can't tell you much except this pretty hard core guy who his parents named, Peter Jenkins, takes a walk across America. So I guess the title's pretty self explanatory.

Shabbat Shalom.

exhaustion

I thought college was supposed to fill my mind with new and exciting ideas. I thought because of my groundbreaking and world changing thoughts I would be effusive with my speech and various ideologies.

I was not prepared however, for the life sucking, debilitating powers that the collegiate institution holds over me. I am a shell of my former self and my once bouncing and happy brain cells are now lagging across my cerebral base unable to utter a syllable let alone another word.

Words collide and crash against each other. Every sentence jumbled until its ideas are unrecognizable. Electrical circuits in my mind are going haywire and I haphazardly try to repair them.

Deadline, due dates are the death of me and my heart trembles in anticipation of the coming days. The shades from my window are lifted and the bright sun taunts me with its unencumbered rays. My bike sits lonely against a wooden stake and the crisp air calls my name. Yet, my bottom has become one with my desk chair and my fingers are now grafted unto the white keyboard. My eyes are blood shot from looking at the artificial light of my computer screen.

Ideas? What are those? Freedom? What concept is that? I must tailor my thoughts to those of my professors in pursuit of that ever elusive, primitive, and worthy, 'A'. My heartbeats are erratic. My brain fizzles with foreign thoughts. And my body lies awake into the depths of the dark night in search of it.

Twisted Wires

My room is dark and quiet. Garage voice is playing through the speakers of my computer. I should be outside enjoying the weather and God's creation but my eyelids are heavy and my pillow beckons me. I write now because my mind is sluggish yet unsettled and that's always a sign that something needs to be said. The wires in my brain are crossed and the connection is fuzzy. I don't know whether to think about God's intimate nature, the fact that He is a friend, why sometimes I don't feel Him, or why when I want to be lead I don't feel like He is leading. The little man in my brain is jumping from one area to the next and trying to write down all my thoughts but their going so fast all he has so far are sentence fragments. Which we all know are not good.

I don't think I have anything to say right now. Or maybe it's just I have too much but none of it will come out clearly. I'll try to wade through the dark and murky waters of my mind. In the mean time I'll show whoever reads this, a bad poem I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the mind.

A maze, a labyrinth filled with snakes. Burrs line the floor that must be picked up. Hands are pricked, heels are bitten. Hours spent, none of the time lost. Streams of light are at the end. The closer we are to it, the farther we've been. Your destiny is never to reach it, your journey is to always begin.

You dig in the dirt with your calloused hands. A pearl is found under the time worn sands. Rare - the find happens once in a lifetime. Half the sky is night, half is filled with light. You forget which is which. The black man looks white. There is a sweet kiss upon your cheek but it doesn't feel right. The water is murky the depth is deep. I can't breath, I'm drowning beneath questioning heaps.
______________________________

That sounds kind of depressing. It's not meant to be. But like I said it's bad poetry. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Sabbath. God is good. All the time God is good.