1.30.2008

For real.

Flowers

I screamed at my Father today. I feel so guilty. My heart aches and my mind races with what I have done. Oh, I didn't scream at him with my voice by with my impatience. I told Him what I wanted and when I wanted it. And He kindly said, not now. And I had to stop myself from pulling the hair from my scalp. I feel like I've waited for years and years but He said, what's a few more? And I felt like He was being insensitive. I felt like He didn't want to fulfill my needs. As I write this I laugh because my Father, my Maker, knows exactly what I need and when I need it. Yet, I doubted Him. Yet, I doubt Him.

A more fickle or impatient person you'd be hard pressed to find. I rail at my Father telling Him all my demands and wanting them now. This instant. That is all I know. This instant. I want something I go buy it. I need something I go buy it. If I wait in line for more than five minutes I get frustrated. My friends, I need prayer. Pray for me and I'll pray for you.

God is my protecter. He knows all my fears. God is my provider. He knows all my needs. God is my deliverer. He hears all my pleas. God is my friend. He listens to my cries and the water from His eyes fill rivers. He hears my laugh and the Earth shakes with His glee. He sees my brow troubled and He paints the flowers so that I might smile.

I write this and I write what I know. God is love and nothing less.

2 comments:

lynette said...

you're whole post is nicely said. i will pray for you, so pray for me :)
i loved the ending of this post the most and i love you!

love always,
me :)

Michi said...

yea...that last paragraph...SO on target. and the last sentence, "He sees my brow troubled and He paints the flowers so that I might smile." I love it. Because that is how He is. Be assured that I am praying for you girl. Ora por mi too...please.