I was sitting. I was thinking. Thoughts that went from one hemisphere to the next. Flitting and floating landing nowhere in particular. I thought of Time. Such an elusive thing, Time. The last second is the past, two seconds from now is the future, and we are always in the present. I imagined the seasons that change, given time. Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring. I imagined the seasons and time spread out. Touching end to end. All at once. The present, the past, and the future all connected as it truly is.
I saw myself walking through tall grass. The birds chirped in my ear and the ocean splashed at my feet. And in my next step leaves of all colors were strewn across the floor. They lay lifeless but beautiful. As if they waited for the time in their lives in which they were the loveliest, the most alive to die. We wait until we are old, our skin loose and spotted our hair sparse and dull. And then we lay in our velvet coffins with blush on our cheeks and tint on our lips. So that if we think really hard and try to remember what they used to look like we can imagine them as the colorful, plumed creatures they [we] once were. When the past was present and the future eons away.
My feet crunched the leaves making beautiful music. I laughed because I was happy. I continued walking on this path, on this stretch that was time. It got cold. Very cold. White covered the trees that were once green, that had turned red and orange and gold, then became barren but still beautiful. The skinny arms outstretched and some caught on my shirt. I moved away and a sprinkling of snow fell on my nose, hair, and shoulders. The tree found me ugly and wanted to clothe me in its garments. I looked beautiful.
My foot took another step and I was in a place half winter half summer. It seemed indecisive. If a season were a woman her name would be Spring. The leaves on the trees were growing again. The air that fell across my check was still cool. Grass had emerged and flowers were blooming. The sun patted my back. All these things I saw when my head I turned.
Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall were all in the past, would happen in the future and since I could see it with my eye were all in the present. I wanted to stay here in this place where I could see time. All at once, all together. No surprises. Just beautiful time. None of it expecting anything from the other. They lived in harmony. The past was not angry because it no longer was, the present was not haughty because it is the most relevant, and the future was not impatient because it wanted to rush upon us.
Time never left, it always was. It was never wasted it was in abundance. It was lovely here and I wish I could stay. But alas, from my chair I rose. Thinking about the time I had wasted, about the things I had to do, and the things I had failed to get done all because of my thinking of time and it’s elusiveness and how things would be if seasons stood end to end with fingers touching. Never letting go.