Sharing A Little.
I remember in high school how my ears were hollow and how I was indifferent to Christ. I didn't have an interest in God. I didn't have an interest in Church and I thought my life was fine. I never rebelled against Him in what the world sees as rebelling but in my heart I rebelled because I could no longer feel the knocking on my heart by Christ. I think about what would have happened to me if I would have continued that way but thankfully I didn't. And the way I was able to feel Christ again was through a book. And it wasn't the Bible.
My friend gave me the first book in A Voice in The Wind Series. The book had a heroine named Hadassah. The devil put her through so much but still she remained faithful to God. She was willing to deny her desires, she was willing to die for God if He asked her to. And by the time I finished reading the book I wanted what she had. I wanted her faith, her passion, her zeal, her love for Christ. I wanted it so much I ached for it. And after that I started to seek God. And ever since then my heart has grown in love for Him. I look back on those years and I think about how I wasn't unhappy and yet I wasn't happy. I was just indifferent. And I know that eventually I would have looked for things to prick me back to life and it probably wouldn't have been religion. I read once that the opposite of Love isn't hate but indifference.
I was lukewarm and God had vomited me out of His mouth. Praise be to Him that He doesn't give up on us. He continues to knock on our hearts. I beseech you. Anyone who reads this. There will be a time when He will stop knocking. Not because He has stopped loving you but because you have carelessly discarded His love and you see Him as irrelevant. Your senses have become dulled. God will not push Himself on you. He values our free will and wants you to come to Him because you love and need Him.
I have never been more happy than I am right now in my life. I have never felt more loved than I do right now. I have never felt more accepted more appreciated than I do right now. Christ is with me and I with Him. Blessed be His Holy name, He who has cleansed me of my sins and who loves me more than anything. He who has released me from my chains and who has declared that I shall be free.